Is it possible to grow in an area that we are able to maneuver without the knee-jerk emotional reaction when that pressure point in touched? I discern situations better, and I've found my voice to speak up or address, when necessary. It seems, however, that things hurt and bring an emotional wound, none-the-less.
In my mind's eye, I don't want to be affected by something someone says or does. I want to be able to speak up and address, when necessary, and not go sideways when I feel the pressure point hit. Maybe that's the key, "feeling." I don't want to be afraid to feel. Feeling something, both positive and negative, is signs of being alive. Is there ever a time when the negative feelings aren't so in the forefront? I'm not afraid to feel pressure, but will it ever not feel painful?
I've gotten better at, seeing something for what it is, talking myself down and reminding myself of what God's taught me, but the emotion seems to still feel raw. It takes awhile to catch up, sometimes, like a very long train. This makes me feel exhausted!
Here's the hope we have, though. We can rest in the shadow of His wings. We can take our cares to the Lord, and we can RENEW our minds. (I know, those first two things are spiritual terms and sounds like "blah, blah, blah" when the emotional hurt is real), Those thoughts that normally have caused us to spiral into an emotional pit, can be interrupted...by US! The sooner we can stop the progression of thoughts that taunt us and we speak to ourselves, louder than the voices shouting at us, we no longer hear them and we can put everything into perspective, making a choice to think on good things, and walk away from that emotional cliff! The "renewing our minds" is something, practical we control freaks can do. I've found it evident, again in my life, I want a plan, a strategy. What is it I can DO? God is teaching me, again, I can make use of the tools and instruction He's given and then all I have to DO is trust and rest.
Sometimes a friend can stand at that cliff and help remind us of what's real and what's not, in our thought processes. Just this week, I had to have a friend talk me through after I went sideways. It is so important, and vital to have relationships and those friends who can talk us down from that cliff. Then, what's left to do, but rest and leave the growing process in God's hands. Tranformation takes time. (another thing I don't like) lol
I said this blog was a place for me to "practice" being vulnerable. Well, here ya go...I' feel layed out, but energized in knowing...fear no longer controls me! (wink)